NASA and NSA Leaks Reveal Planet X and What It Means for Astrology

For years scientists, astrologers and conspiracy theorists alike have speculated about the existence of Planet ‘X’ – or the Melancholia planet which shares Earth’s orbit but is hidden from us as it is directly opposite us – so always on the other side of the Sun.

Despite the launch of numerous space probes fitted with infra-red scanning devices which have scanned, according to NASA, over 99% of our solar system, they have subsequently maintained that no such planet exists. However, Edward Snowden along with former NASA researcher Professor Mungo McAlgae, now claim that both NASA and government security agencies have known of the existence of Planet X – or Melancholia since the early 90’s and have kept its existence under wraps. In a simultaneous press conference earlier today both Professor McAlgae at Caltec and Edward Snowden from his undisclosed location in Russia, spoke candidly about the conspiracy to keep Planet X under wraps. ‘The official government line is that Planet X doesn’t exist,’ said Snowden. ‘It’s felt that the mass panic could occur if people think Planet X is on a collision course with Earth.’ Professor McAlgae in his conference stated that ‘The gravitational effects of Planet X on our Sun have been well documented from the ‘70’s. Furthermore, NASA has an extensive database of images from Planet X which appear to show not only signs of life but also civilisation.’ Both called for NASA to not only confirm Planet X’s existence but to launch a probe to establish whether intelligent life exists on it or any other planet. ‘So far, no signs of this are evident’ summed up Mungo. At his conference, Snowden did however release a leaked image of Planet X which does appear to show extensive vegetation or even man-made structures on the planet’s surface.

Meanwhile, the International Federation of Astrologers has assembled an emergency quincunx of their most prominent members in order to establish what influence Planet X may have on our perception and interpretation of astrology. ‘Basically we’re looking at giving over the rulership of a sign which currently shares a planet with another to Planet X. Obviously Taurus and Libra share Venus and Gemini and Virgo share Mercury. We could also see a new house system being put into place with 13 houses.’

Although NASA has yet to formally acknowledge the existence of Planet X, already Professor McAlgae has approached the International Astronomical Union to name the planet Loki after the Norse trickster god. ‘It seems appropriate considering the day this has come to light,’ he said.

As tricks are traditionally associated with Mercury it may be that Gemini’s ruling planet is about to change. So next time someone asks what’s your sign, the Loki could be on you!

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